The world has held great Heroes,
As history-books have showed;
But never a name to go down in fame
Compared with that of Toad!
The clever men at Harvard
Know all that there is to be knowed.
But they none of them know one half as much
As intelligent Mr Toad!
The animals sat in the Ark and cried,
Their tears in torrents flowed.
Who said, 'Praise God! There's land ahead'?
Encouraging Mr Toad!
The army all saluted
As they marched along the road
Was if for Lincoln? Or Washington?
No. It was for Mr Toad!
A hot model and her girlfriends
Sat at the window and posed.
She cried, 'Look! who's that handsome man?
They answered, 'Mr Toad'.*
*From Kenneth Grahame's Wind in the Willows (slightly Americanized)